If I Show My Feelings ...
One of the reasons that I created this site is because I hate to see how much we lose in life when we don't rein in our emotions. Some of us lose our jobs because of bad tempers - now how will the bills get paid? Some of us sabotage relationships with good people because of our insecurities - now we don't have anybody to call for companionship. Some of us resorted to violence unnecessarily - now we have a criminal record that makes it harder than usual to move on even after we've changed.
I don't have many more regrets these days - because I've learned not to let my emotions rule me. My trick is to vent to God. Oh if He shared some of my truth I'd be so embarrassed! I would tell Him everything. "I can't stand her. I want to quit. They're not worth it!" I mean I've had - and still have - some pretty extreme feelings. So when I bring them to God, He has this amazing way of humbling me with a different perspective. And when He doesn't change my perspective He at least calms me down and gives me the strength to endure. By the time my alone time with God i s over - I come out such a sweet, peaceful, understanding woman.
Only my husband and sister witness more of my wretchedness than everyone else. My husband sees my truth often for obvious reasons. And my sister is one of the few people who I can trust to be transparent with because I know that 1) she won't judge me and 2) she'll give me godly counsel. And to be honest, they haven't seen the half of it! So that's why most of the world think I'm just the sweetest - but I'm honestly not.