Letting Go, One Tear at a Time
Updated: Oct 11, 2021
God is too good!!! Let me start off by confessing that I should have written this blog a few days ago. God and I are still working on my lack of discipline. But when I listened to this video sermon today, child I have no excuse!!
I was actually looking for another sermon, couldn't find it and came across this one and thought "This one seems edifying." It's called "God is Testing Your Perseverance" and the sermon is by Pastor Keion Henderson.
So a couple of months ago, I decided to let go of something that I realized wasn't going to work. It was a decision I've been contemplating for months. God was showing me that it wasn't ordained to work, but I fought those impressions because I wasn't trying to give up you know? "Quitters don't win," isn't that what they say? But if God isn't in it, there's just no point in trying. If I continually tell God I want His best for me, I have to let go of what doesn't fit in His plan for my life.
Even though I'm at peace with my decision, it still hurts my soul. My spirit is pumped up and ready for the new, my soul still mourns the old. If you see me during the day, 99% of the time it looks like I'm all good, as if I'm unaffected by the loss. But when my work shift has ended, the kids are asleep and the TV is turned off, there is a chance that you'd catch me silently crying myself to sleep. Let's face it, it hurts. And if it didn't hurt, that meant it was insignificant. But it was significant. There was a lot of hope and misplaced faith poured into it - and yet it still failed.
But I tell myself, "Cry. Cry when you feel like it. Crying doesn't mean you don't believe that God has great things planned for your future. Crying doesn't mean that you've made a mistake. Cry it out now ... because later you won't be able to stop smiling." My joy will come. I've seen it in my dreams. I won't rush my healing, but at the same time I refuse to sit in the Wilderness. I'm on my way to my Promised Land. I sense it deeeeeeep down in my spirit.
When I clicked on this sermon, I didn't expect to hear so much about crying. But that's how good and specific God is when it comes to ministering to His children.