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"I Can Play the Background"

Title inspired by Lecrae - Background.

Within the last few weeks, well scratch that - few years, I've been trying to figure out my ultimate purpose. I do understand that God has so much more in store for us than we can imagine, but I need something now - something today. I didn't know what to focus on, I didn't know where to zone in. I felt so confused because for the life of me I couldn't figure out my purpose.

Recently I've been hearing more and more about serving, being obscure, supporting and submission. I thought I was already operating along those lines - but God started coming for that part of me that kept trying to make a name for myself.

Now don't get me wrong, I hate being the center of attention. I wasn't trying to put myself out there because I wanted popularity. But today's culture is so "Look at me, look what I'm doing." And I started to feel like I had to imitate the Instagram and Facebook legends to really make a difference. Well, I only spend my time on Facebook. My Instagram is pretty dry. I was on Snap Chat for 2 hot minutes. And forget about Twitter. One social profile was already more than enough. And to be honest, I miss MySpace because I loved how much we could customize our pages. (Can you tell I'm team Android?)

Anyway, I thought maybe I should take more selfies. But I rarely care to. And I don't have a low self-esteem at all. I just don't care to show my beauty to those whose opinions simply don't matter. After me and my man, I don't care what anybody thinks. I have nothing to prove. I don't want men coming for my body. I like taking pictures during special occasions - to capture the memory. But a selfie every day of the week? Would that even edify you? I'd rather inspire and encourage you with my words. So you can have a better tomorrow.

Being that I didn't care to take 6,432 selfies per year, and I didn't care to share my everyday happenings - I honestly didn't feel like I was going to make as much of an impact that I wanted to. And God convicted me every time I tried to promote myself. I felt mad lost. Until I came across this: The Black Godfather on Netflix.