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"I Can Play the Background"

Title inspired by Lecrae - Background.

Within the last few weeks, well scratch that - few years, I've been trying to figure out my ultimate purpose. I do understand that God has so much more in store for us than we can imagine, but I need something now - something today. I didn't know what to focus on, I didn't know where to zone in. I felt so confused because for the life of me I couldn't figure out my purpose.

Recently I've been hearing more and more about serving, being obscure, supporting and submission. I thought I was already operating along those lines - but God started coming for that part of me that kept trying to make a name for myself.

Now don't get me wrong, I hate being the center of attention. I wasn't trying to put myself out there because I wanted popularity. But today's culture is so "Look at me, look what I'm doing." And I started to feel like I had to imitate the Instagram and Facebook legends to really make a difference. Well, I only spend my time on Facebook. My Instagram is pretty dry. I was on Snap Chat for 2 hot minutes. And forget about Twitter. One social profile was already more than enough. And to be honest, I miss MySpace because I loved how much we could customize our pages. (Can you tell I'm team Android?)

Anyway, I thought maybe I should take more selfies. But I rarely care to. And I don't have a low self-esteem at all. I just don't care to show my beauty to those whose opinions simply don't matter. After me and my man, I don't care what anybody thinks. I have nothing to prove. I don't want men coming for my body. I like taking pictures during special occasions - to capture the memory. But a selfie every day of the week? Would that even edify you? I'd rather inspire and encourage you with my words. So you can have a better tomorrow.

Being that I didn't care to take 6,432 selfies per year, and I didn't care to share my everyday happenings - I honestly didn't feel like I was going to make as much of an impact that I wanted to. And God convicted me every time I tried to promote myself. I felt mad lost. Until I came across this: The Black Godfather on Netflix.

I saw the preview last night, and if I wasn't so tired, I'd watch it right then. But I just finished watching this and it inspired me so much. I needed to see someone who stayed behind the scenes but made such a huge difference in so many lives. It's hard to see these people because - well, they're behind the scenes!

God knew I needed this to boost me and to propel me in my purpose. I love to help and support. ESPECIALLY those just starting out in their hustle. And that will be my thing. My only purpose for this blog is to spread the message of "you are not alone." We face fears, insecurities and confusion on a daily basis. And I need to make it clear that these emotions DO NOT have to stop us from fulfilling our destinies. If this only helps one person fulfill her calling - then this blog has done enough for me. God probably has more planned - but that's on Him.


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