Updated: Oct 7, 2018
Have you ever felt like people did a complete 180 on you? Like yesterday it was all laughs and genuine camaraderie and today there's such tension in the air? All of the sudden it seems like no one talks to you like they used to: you went from hearing about their personal lives to ignored texts and a civil greeting: "Good morning, how are you?" "Good." That's all you got when just yesterday everyone was talking about the husbands and kids, etc.
Well for the past few weeks I went through that ... it seemed like several women just shut me out for no apparent reason! I literally racked my brain for days trying to figure out what I may have said or done to offend them. I even asked them if everything was okay and they'd pretty much say "I'm good." I said to them (in my head of course) "Tell me what's wrong like you'd do in the past!!" But out loud I said, "Well I'm here if you need me." I never want anyone to feel obligated to tell me all of their secrets. I respect privacy, but the tension in the air was what was bugging me. I mean, are we still cool? Let me know if I've done something wrong so we can fix this!
So eventually, after a few days, I had to just let it go. I legit started to encourage myself by telling myself, "Well, friends come and go. People are here only for a season. They're probably sensing the anointing and just hating on where I'm going in life. But that's okay as long as I'm good with God!" And then I was tempted so hard to give them the same cold shoulder. I wanted to show them that I'm not going to fall apart just because they turned their backs on me! Screw the polite greetings, just shut them out 100%!
But of course the Holy Spirit convicted me. He told me that this was the opportune time to let my light shine and never get dim. How do I prove the love of God if I'm only showing my sweet side when everyone is being nice to me? I'm supposed to be consistent no matter who's doing what. I mean I literally thought they talked about me behind my back and agreed to cut me out. So as hard as it was, I remained consistent and friendly. I didn't share my ordeal with my husband because I felt I'd sound immature - "Babe, my friends don't like me anymore! I know they didn't confront me directly ... but things just feel different!" LOL it's not always easy to justify "vibes" to logical men. He'd listen of course but I didn't want to come off like a big baby.
So either way I kept it moving and continuously reminded myself that I just have to focus on God's work. This lasted for a few weeks. And then FINALLY it broke. It turns out that my friends were just so absorbed with what they were going through in their personal lives that it just happened to seep into their behaviors. It had absolutely nothing to do with me. Eventually they shared what was going on and I was like "Wow, sorry friend!" I still find myself asking why didn't they just tell me that we're cool and that they just had so much going on that they didn't feel like interacting? I guess they didn't realize how their actions affected me and I'm sure others.
Isn't it crazy that multiple friends were going through personal things AT THE SAME TIME? And that it looked as if they all turned their backs to me? If that's not a set up by the enemy I don't know what is! Imagine if I allowed myself to get into my feelings and end our friendships or accuse them of being shady? Now I would have started a new set of problems for them and myself! I might have given up opportunities to build stronger bonds and even more precious memories. I do need to step up my intercessory prayer life and be quicker to pray for them than worry about myself. Getting there ...