Getting A Move On
"It's an admirable quality I must admit, because I do drag my feet for a while. I be trying to get comfy with the changes mentally/emotionally before I make moves"
Above is what I texted my sister yesterday. We were chatting about a couple of people that we know personally, who are amazing at executing their visions. When these people set a path, they just go for it. While my sister and I, well we take our sweet time. I told her, "____ moves so fast sometimes it makes my head spin."
Immediately after I texted her about how I try to align my mind and emotions with my will first, I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Because that's the exact opposite of walking in faith. I know it's not wise to rush into every "bright" idea that comes into my mind, but it's a whole different ball game when God says, "Go this way." And I reply, "Wait, let me think about this for a second. Let me make myself okay with this first." I surrendered my life to Christ 13 years ago, soon after I graduated from college. A whole thirteen years ... and I haven't learned to just move with Him yet? He has ALWAYS come through when I trusted Him enough to follow Him. Why the hesitation?
Two weeks ago I made a life changing decision. I don't regret it, I know it was the right thing to do given the circumstances. But up until yesterday, I was still in an emotional and mental fog. Like, "Is this really it? So much will change. How will it effect everyone? How do I explain this to my loved ones? What will my life be like now?" And those thoughts consumed me so much that I broke down a bit, wondering if I'd ever get my heart's desire. I knew it wasn't here, but I worried for a bit that I was on a wild goose chase. Should I just cut my losses and settle for an unfulfilled dream? A close friend of mine assured me that I have nothing to worry about. I had to replay his words in my head a few times before that encouragement sunk in.
My hesitation to keep it moving left me vulnerable to fear setting into my soul. It's like quitting your job when you believed that you had a better opportunity out there; and then sitting home without going after your vision. So now you're worrying if you'll ever be successful financially. No old job, and at this rate, no new job.
I had to get myself together. I realized that I may have to consistently fight against my overthinking and fearful tendencies. I have to believe God and be ready to keep it moving as He leads me to His plan for my life.