Discernment
Per the Merriam-Webster dictionary, discernment is defined as: "the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure."
When I dedicated my life to Christ, I was zealous to work for the Kingdom. I was always attracted to the prophetic ministry. I was amazed with the ability to speak into someone's life in such a profound way that she or he could not deny how real and alive God is. This was 11 years ago; and I still feel the same.
Through all of those years, God rarely sent me to speak into someone's life. It could be because when I did feel led I chickened out. But I'm thinking more so now that it's because I have such a hard time believing what He shows me about some people. I'd have the nicest, most charming and even anointed people in my face - then turn around and have a dream about them showing otherwise.
So before I finally believe it - I disregard it, look for evidence in the natural, try to see if anyone else is picking up on the same truths as I am. All of this time I'm struggling to believe what He showed me, I could have been interceding on the person's behalf. Instead I'm doubting myself and accusing myself of tripping.
I'm not naive enough to believe that all people are trustworthy and show their true colors upfront. But I'm big on "innocent until proven guilty." I'd never make it as a member of the jury or a judge because unless I was there when the crime occurred, I'd always worry about putting an innocent person in jail. That's too heavy for me. And that's why I have such a hard time when God shows me that someone is not who they appear to be.
As crazy as it sounds, the show "American Greed" encouraged me to step it up with the gift of discernment that God blessed me with. It's a show that my sister introduced me to and I find it captivating. Why? Because I am amazed by how these individuals manage to con so many people out of millions of dollars. The businesses look legit, they appear successful materialistically and the key trait is their charisma. And I think to myself, "The gift of discernment could have prevented so many from falling for the scams!"
I still struggle because I have so many flaws myself so I try not to judge others with what God showed me. I first have to look at others through the lenses of love. God wants me to pray for them to be delivered. In other cases, God wants to protect me from harm when they're coming for me directly. Either way, if I can trust my discernment I can protect myself, help with someone else's deliverance, or both.
I recently ordered and listened to this audiotape, "Seeing the Supernatural: How to Sense, Discern and Battle in the Spiritual Realm" by Jennifer Eivaz. It really blessed me and helped me understand some of what I go through. It encouraged me to really pray and act according to what I see and trust God to guide me on the correct path according to His will.
Going forward I do dedicate myself to taking Him at what I believe is His word the 1st time and stop wasting so much time before finally responding to His call.